Apparently the people down at Cook’s Warehouse do not hang on my every word, which I find a little surprising considering how much money I spend there, or more precisely how much of other people’s money I spend there because I really can’t afford anything in the store without some sort of financial assistance. I rode my bike down to the Decatur location last weekend because I’m trying to train for RAGBRAI (a non-competitive bicycle ride across Iowa that happens every July). I’m determined ride in it someday. The organizers recommend that a training schedule should log at least 1,000 miles. I’ve racked up 11 so far. I should be ready by 2025.
And so when I stood in front of the Cook’s Warehouse clerk, all sweaty from my really long (2.5 miles) ride, and asked “Do you have any flavored syrup to put in coffee?,” he hadn’t read my latest post and very innocently answered, “No, maybe you could check at Starbucks.” I did not tell him to suck it, because 1) to be fair he had no idea the potential for rage contained within those words, and 2) he was holding the knife I was about to buy for my mother, which she actually has already, but must have another because she’s living a double life in FL now and needs two of everything. I have to believe company policy would have prevented him from stabbing me, but I played it safe anyway and just nodded.
On the way home I stopped at the grocery store, which was really just an excuse to take a break from the bike after riding an entire mile from downtown Decatur, and decided to buy a can of Coco Lopez to try in my frappucino. It didn’t work, probably because it involves real coconut. My theory on the secret to the Starbucks coconut is an intense flavor that can only be achieved through chemistry. So it was a little disappointing, but then I made a coconut oatmeal coffee cake with what was left of the Coco Lopez and it was yummy enough that I ate half of it in just a few hours and then took it into work for my colleagues the next day so I wouldn’t eat the rest. (I used a lot less sugar and ½ whole wheat flour, but it was still nothing anyone concerned about their health should be eating by the pan-full.)
This weekend I found “Spirit Twisters” at the liquor store in coconut and gave that a try. Not quite there yet. Significant volumes were necessary in order to achieve recognizable coconut flavor, which made the frappucinos way too sweet using the previously noted amount of sugar in the make-ahead coffee step. So I’ll have to live with just a hint of coconut until I get through this batch and test it more fully. Something tells me it still isn’t going to make the cut though, and I won’t be satisfied until I get my hands on some Torani syrup, which incidentally is available via Amazon/mail order, but that’s too easy and takes away all the fun of the hunt. It will probably go well with rum, however, and this can easily be arranged.